Saturday, May 31, 2008

Sex in the City (lives on in all of us women)

A comment made on the NPR site got me to thinking about my life.
I made the comment.
I said I had failed while reaching for the Sex in the City lifestyle. Actually, I met the same fate as the show and the women in Sex in the City: My activities were halted. Our society doesn't want women purposely behaving like Carrie, Sam, Charlotte and Miranda.

The story line of each character changed over time and then Sam got cancer (was this to replace her getting HIV?).
Each of the women had some unhappiness injected into their lives. Carrie was a victim of abuse when she went to Paris with the artist (whatchamacallit--i forget his name) and my heart fell to the floor. He slapped her. Was this a way to say women who behave like her get what they deserve? I hated that part.
Charlotte married and divorced, finally found happiness and then was infertile. *Sigh*
Miranda the high-powered lawyer, married a bartender turned owner and moved away from Manhattan--after she was turned into a baby's mamma, single mamma. *sigh of disappointment and dangit!*
They almost made it.
In short, they were no longer fabulous. They were less-than-fab reality-bitten normal, everyday bla-ze.
Why did this change occur? No man would have lived with or married any of those women.
First, dating one of them means you date them all. We know how girlfriends and marriage are like oil and water sometimes. Second, they have sex and enjoy it. Sex to them is not a giving up but a sharing or sometimes a taking (just to take the edge off a bit, ya' know)and many, many men do not like that attitude.
Matter-of-fact, I remember the disappointment I felt when reported on the news, was the story of N.Y. club owners banning women who behaved Sex-in-the City-ish on premises.
Yes, people the women were banned. They were banned for being free and expressing themselves and being too forward and I gather, the behaviors caused problems inside the clubs.
I can see how.
Before watching Sex in the City, I would have argued anyone on this point.
However, when women are grown and sexy and pick their mate for intimate encounters--like a man, a man-like situation happens.

Fights, public and humiliating are in the character of high-schoolers on the playground after school. Hurt feelings and misunderstandings are not handled well by the majority of the men we all know. They process feelings differently. Hurt a guy's feelings and see how hateful he gets. I mean, the kind of hatefulness that is scary and hard to forget.
He is not built to wait by anyone's phone. Unlike a woman, who will carry that hurt around inside, the guy may take action. And naw, it won't be pretty at all.
So I can see why these women were banned or at least gently encouraged to behave as ladies and not grown-ass women who are free in America to do as they please.
I gotta see that movie but remember the good old days when Sex in the City was really like a page out of Cosmopolitan magazine?
Wishful thinking, ladies.
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