Friday, April 29, 2005

three days for a pic

why did it take me three days to post pics to my blog using Picasa and Hello? it would have been nice to just use the "browse" button to upload from my computer.

anyway, enjoy.

self-portrait 2003
Posted by Hello

Posted by Hello

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Stupid Questions

I get tired of asking questions--sometimes...
I do, really. I have been asking questions all of my life, for free. Now here lately I've been getting paid to ask questions--for the past 10 years or so.
And I'm tired of asking the questions for free.
So, if I don't ask you, "why you do me like that?" it's not always because I don't care, it's because I just don't have the strength any more for "why".
The free questions revolve around my personal life and my effort to produce the whys and ifs are getting more and more sparce.
"Why I let him treat me like a hooker?" "Why didn't he call?" "Why she trippin'?" "Damn that was messed up. Why they do that?" "Why that man layin' on the ground?" "Why don't anyone want to eat my cooking?"
"If he knew he just wanted some, why not just say so?"
Ya know, those types of whys and if questions.
They're stupid questions and nowadays, I just sighhhhh and let it go because no one knows the answers and I can only speculate and guess.
And usually those questions go unanswered anyway. So why ask them.
Forget it.
Sighhhhh, that felt good.
But the real reason is because I only care half as much as I did 10 years ago. I've seen too much.
These ears have heard lots of talk and secrets. People have been using me as a landfill for useless knowledge for far too long.
Much of what I see and hear can't be used professionally, so I'm working on a way to not see and here as much as I used to. I have sequestered my quest for knowledge and will continue to limit it only for professional use.
I don’t know, it just seems better that way.
This is what happens when a naturally curious child grows up and makes use of the curiosity. You find a career path that makes use of it and it gets used all of the time. But of course, it is what I choose to do.
Journalists get paid to ask questions but I guess it's up to me to determine whether or how often I ask the people in my life "why" and "if".
I guess it's just easier thata way, I reckon.