Monday, November 14, 2005

Yeah, I Wanna Be an Old @#% Baby's Momma

Copyright 2005LJM
Being held hostage in the car after work shouting answers to questions no one asked me on the Les Brown talk show, I began to realize that there were too many parallels between the people who I know and the ones being described on the radio.
The topic was teen pregnancy.
The host and several well-heeled guests and listeners had called in to say that their children were either pregnant early in life or refusing to go along with the plan of fatherhood long after the cow was out-of-the-barn.
I appreciated their candid responses but I know for a fact that women who decide to bear a man's child out-of wedlock don't have to be teenagers to do so.
There were too many parallels between the irresponsible, wayward teen parents being described on the show and the men and women who I know today.
These men and women are in their 30s and 40s and do not seem to mind being an over-the-hill Baby's Momma or Baby's Daddy. Matter of fact, at least one cherished the idea.
This man is a professional making in excess of $50,000 a year and college educated. He was raised with traditional values, albeit on the West Coast but he knows better than to invite a woman to have a baby out-of-wedlock.
At least he should have known better than to ask me.
He said since he was in his mid-40s and childless, he figured he'd better get moving on the daddy track before it was too late. He had even gone through fertility testing and yes--he has a few swimmers.
However, he is unwilling to marry, he said, unless I became pregnant.
(I tried to believe him)
Oh so negative buddy. No out-of-wedlock kids for me because I know better. I know that even the sanctity of marriage (be it shotgun or no) will not guarantee two people happiness or be a reason to have a baby or stay together. So why complicate the issue. Either you want to marry me or you don't.
He didn't want to marry me.
What I don't understand is why would anyone want to be permanently connected through children to a person they don't want to marry?
I wouldn't want to do that at all.
Love children at the age of 40. How dumb can you be, really? Foolish love games and tragedies are overlooked when you're in your 20s as youthful indiscretions. But two 40-somethings (I am 39) unwilling to commit to a date let alone a baby is just wrong.
There aught to be licenses issued to couples wanting to have children.
Yes, childbearing should be regulated because some of us just don't know what to do with our bodies, spare time or apparently our money.


Pixie said...

that is so true. very lucid thoughts.
i love your blog, and have bookmarked it!!
francesca said...

thank you francesca!